


Egg in the Blender Game

by binaryStars



Category: Homestuck
Genre: here's another one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 16:56:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7446784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/binaryStars/pseuds/binaryStars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remember that one time Fin stuck his hand in a blender? A couple of other people did it too, but Fin's the one that got hurt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Egg in the Blender Game

Four members of the Felt were in the kitchen.

This was unusual; normally, only one of them was there, making dinner or something for everyone else. However, that wasn't the case, clearly, as Clover, Die, Itchy, and Fin huddled around the counter, watching the blender blend a dirty-looking mixture.

It had originally just been Die, watching the mixture go round and round in the full blender, and Itchy had caught him while he was making yet another coffee round.

"What are you doing?" he'd almost demanded. Die hadn't answered, but had pointed at the mixture, which was, at the time, golden, green, pink, and some sort of violet, sort of blurred together. Itchy had made some sarcastic remark about what a great answer that was, but out of sheer curiosity, sat down next to him, and sipped at his coffee.

Fin had appeared next, probably having Itchy's past trail (no one actually gave a shit about what Die did), and stood semi-awkwardly on the right side of Die, raising an eyebrow at the other two. Or, mainly just Itchy; this didn't seem like the kind of thing he'd want to do with his time. He kind of wondered if the blender was faster or slower than him, but didn't bother asking. Maybe he'd find out later, through comparison.

"What are we watching?" Fin had asked. Itchy shrugged, and placed his now-empty mug of coffee into the sink right beside him.

The mixture was almost completely blended when Clover showed up. He'd just been grabbing something to drink, but see, he was so small that he had to climb on the counters to be able to reach anything. The cupboard that held all of the cups was positioned perfectly for him to see what was going on over there, so he looked, just for a second. He didn't care that much. Or, he didn't until he noticed what, exactly, they were doing.

"What... what's going on, here?" he questioned, more confused than he should've been.

"Dunno," Itchy replied.

Die looked at Clover, meeting him dead in the eyes for a moment. Clover shifted nervously, uncomfortable with that green stare. Die was such a weird guy (note: weird, not unkind), and this behavior was expected of him, but Clover was usually lucky enough that he didn't have to interact with him.

"I haven't seen you in a while," Die finally said.

"He speaks," Fin murmured, and Itchy let out a small scoff in response.

Die turned from his spot and went to the bright green fridge. He then pulled out a carton of eggs, and brought them back to the blender. Clover had taken a seat to his left of the blender, across from Fin. Die opened the carton the way one opens a briefcase full of money; delicately, and with his index and middle fingers pressed into either side. Four eggs lay perfectly in the middle.

"What're you going to do with those?" Fin questioned, leaning his arm against the counter, pushing Clover's legs to the side a little bit. (He frowned a bit, but otherwise moved a little closer to the blender.)

"A game," Die responded simply.

"Wait, what kind of game?" Clover asked. He had a feeling of what the game was, and he knew that he was good at it. It wasn't an unusual game to play in the mansion, and he had no idea that Die was interested.

"I drop an egg into a blender, and you need to catch it before it hits the blades," he answered.

"Wait, what?" Fin asked.

"I didn't know you knew how to play that game," Itchy grinned, shoving Die's shoulder a little bit. He winced.

"Wait, why would you _ever_ do that?" Fin questioned, perplexed. He wasn't going to say that he never did stupid things, but he'd certainly never done anything _this_ stupid.

"It's fun," Itchy shrugged.

"Okay, think about what you just said for a second there," he stated, turning his body to face the other three. "Sticking your hand into a blender. Is fun."

"Well, it's not like Stitch ever leaves his dumb room," Clover pointed out. He was _so down_ for this game. "He'd sew your hand back on." He grinned. "Unless you're scared."

"I'm not scared," Fin sighed, with the roll of his eyes. "I never said anything about that, just that it's a dumb idea. I'll play, but only if he goes first, though." He looked at Die.

"Someone put the egg in," he told them. "It's easy when you drop it for yourself."

Itchy had snatched the egg and dropped it in the second the words left his lips. With the same sort of astounding speed, Die had reached his gloved hand in the blender, and extracted the egg. The other three looked at him in surprise; unless he was actually trying to get somewhere, Die's default speed was so incredibly slow that it was likely possible for Doze to keep up, if he sprinted. Maybe. Probably not, actually. Forget anything was said.

"My speed is specific to grabbing eggs from blenders," Die explained, in his quiet, quiet voice. "What do you think I do in the timelines the rest of you are dead in?"

The other three went silent for a moment. _That was a pretty weird thing to say._

"Well, me next!" Clover exclaimed, genuinely excited for this game. He enjoyed things like this, where most other people would get hurt, but he was so lucky that he was almost always out of harm's way.

Itchy snatched up an egg, and threw it into the blender with the same amount of speed, this time making a little splash and some of the mixture fell over the sides. Clover watched the mixture, which was, for pure plot convenience, not otherwise spilling over, until the egg bobbed up at the top. The egg had made a spiral down through the glass body of the device, then hit the blade in a way and place that it wouldn't break, before it was sent back up to the surface. Clover grabbed the egg with ease, and wiped his hand on his vest.

"Who's next?" Clover asked with a smug grin, looking directly at Itchy.

"Alright, if you insist," he almost laughed. "Go ahead."

"Wait, you'll grab it so fast it won't be any "fun"," Fin pointed out, using air quotations. "You need to wait one whole second before you grab the egg." Any longer and the egg would likely be broken.

"Alright, deal," Itchy shrugged, still absolutely confident in his speed. What a cocky asshole; Fin and Die both hoped he'd get his fingers sliced, but of course, why wouldn't he be confident in his ability? He'd just had a cup of coffee, for God's sake.

Of course, though, his fingers were absolutely spared; one second passed, and no more, and Itchy was holding the egg above his head. He put it back in the carton, and didn't bother to wash it off. Clover and Die put their own eggs back in suit, while Itchy pulled out the final egg: so pure and white. It taunted Fin in a way that he'd never been taunted before; Itchy had his speed, Clover, his luck, and Die, his practise. He had nothing to give him an advantage, and somehow, this made him more determined to grab the egg.

"Throw it in," Fin dared.

"I'll do it real slow for ya, newbie," Itchy responded teasingly, as he, more slowly than necessary, reached his hand over the blender, and dropped the egg.

Time seemed to slow down as that pure white oval-shaped object of entertainment fell into the whirling blade pitcher. He had no time to think before plunging his hand into the machine.

All of that determination disappeared in one moment of truth as he removed his hand with a loud screech, and the mixture was stained a bright red.

Clover and Itchy immediately burst into laughter, and Die had to turn off the blender as Clover fell into it. No amount of luck would save him from that terrible fate of getting his head sliced to bits. Fin continued screaming.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I CUT MY FUCKING HAND!"

Itchy and Clover laughed even harder, and the latter wiped the mixture off of his face with his arm. Even Die couldn't help but give a small smile.

It didn't take long for Fin's hand to return to normal, thanks to Stitch's sewing skills (jeez, try saying that ten times fast), but he was still a very bitter about it, crossing his arms and refusing to talk to or acknowledge the other three in a sort of pout. Though, of course, not quite-- something much less childish.

"Come on, at least it was interesting to watch," Clover told him, taking a seat on the counter so that his legs dangled over the edge. It was supposed to be more of a mock than a comfort, Fin thought.

"Yeah, think about it from our point of view!" Itchy agreed, his usual sly grin on his face. "I mean, think about it from Die's perspective; the guy must've known that Clove' and me were gonna get it, but for you, it was a fifty-fifty chance, right?" He put his arm around Die's shoulders, then was promptly shaken off, though he nodded in agreement.

Fin opened his mouth to say something, only to be cut off by the door opening violently, as though it were kicked, to reveal a pissed as hell-looking Stitch.

He took a few seconds to assess the situation, and his face dulled to a simple mild irritation, and he sighed, 

"Egg in the blender game?"

Die nodded.

Stitch sighed.

"You know what? I'm not even gonna bother today," he stated flatly. "All of you knew that it was a dumb thing to do-"

"Don't you have dolls to play with?" Itchy interrupted, examining the tips of his fingers, and leaning against the counter in an oh-so casual way.

Stitch looked to Die, his own voodoo doll visible in his pocket, as though asking if he'd taken any offense whatsoever, but he simply shrugged. 

"I can't believe everyone I know is an imbecile," he sighed, and left.

There were some days he wanted desperately to take Itchy's effigy apart, stitch by stitch. Today, though, Itchy's wasn't the only one 

He passed Crowbar on the way back to his room.

"Egg in the blender game?" Crowbar questioned.

"Egg in the blender game," Stitch responded in a sigh.


End file.
